I’ve been having fun re-learning how to make vector art stuff lately. (Learn the difference between vector and raster graphics here. The quick explanation is that raster graphics are comprised of pixels, while vector graphics are created with mathematically-defined shapes and lines.) I used to love drawing when I was younger but, quite frankly, I’m horrible with pencil and paper. I love the clean lines of vector art; there’s something just so shiny and fresh about it.

So, last week I started picking things and drawing them, letting my imagination run wild. My first few attempts sucked. They sucked so hard that they became little black holes of suckitude which swallowed some nearby files. But then my brain started linking up some old memories, rerouting power to long-abandoned booze-flooded power stations, and suddenly things started clicking.

As strange as it may sound, I sort of forgot that I could draw for the last few years. I’m pretty sure that the crazy years following high school have something to do with it. (Note to the kids: The drink known as the “Mind Eraser” makes a titular claim that it intends to back up.) I’m no Picasso, but I surprised myself with how well some of my most recent stuff turned out. Here’s my new avatar that I’m posting everywhere.

I drew some other stuff (a whale, a bass guitar, the wife), but can’t seem to find where I saved those files. Anyway, I got so excited with my drawing that I decided to make some fan art. I chose to pay homage to one of my favorite webcomics out there, Hijinks Ensue. The inspiration comes from the character Josh’s love of bacon and this infamous picture from collegehumor.com (warning: contains two clothed chicks kissing on a pile of beer kegs). Here it is. (Clicking it gives you a gargantuan version you can use as a desktop wallpaper if you like. Yes, you have my permission.)

As I draw more stuff, I’ll upload it here. I’d appreciate your feedback and/or drawing tips and if you have any art you’ve created, I’d be happy to link to it. I’ll also be incorporating some *actual* artwork into my webcomic, Geek Sauce, in the future, so be sure to check in there every Tuesday and Friday.

My new webcomic now has its own website. If you like laziness, movies, comic books, chicanery, piffle, grammar, mustaches, turn-of-the-century gentlemen, and occasional humor, you can find the adventures of Phineas and Tim at:

www.geek-sauce.com

We’ve already covered such deep and meaningful topics as the Incredible Hulk’s genitals and… err… Han Solo’s genitals. An unintentional theme, I assure you.

Just remember, for better or worse, the Geek Sauce webcomic wouldn’t be possible without your support. Thanks for clicking!

The wife and I celebrated our fifth anniversary by going out to dinner with friends, then going to see Avatar in 3D. Between those events, though, we had some time to kill. Positioned geographically between the Olive Garden and the movie theater megaplex, there was a place that the wife has been wanting to check out for the last few weeks: The Burlington Coat Factory. I thought we might get to see the factory floor and, hope beyond hope, a few coat-making robots, but, alas, it was a department store. To waste some time we tried on coats, many of which made me look like I was attempting to wear an already-inflated life raft. The wife ended up buying a purse, because she absolutely gay for purses like that.

And then she found the hat section. Disappointingly for me, there were only women’s hats. She tried on a few and asked me to take a few pictures with her camera phone. So I did.

Then she informed me that it was my turn. I told her to forget about it, that I wasn’t going to embarrass myself by trying on what were clearly women’s hats, and that IF I tried on ONE hat for her pleasure (sicko) and she took a picture? Well, that the picture would never ever make it online, no way, no how, not in a million years. I shall NOT be made a fool in front of the Internets!

That was, of course, before I saw how the picture came out. I don’t usually like how I look in photographs, but this one? Weapons-Grade Hawtness. Seriously. Yellow is the new R-Pattz.

After that fun, we went over to the cinemas and saw Avatar in 3D. After all the hoopla and what with the phrase “game-changer” being thrown around so much, I was disappointed that it didn’t completely change my life, make my hair grow in thicker, and give me clear, beautiful skin. It was pretty damn good though and I think the wife may have summed it up best when she turned to me as we walked out of the theater and said, “I want to be a blue cougar-person! ME! I WANT THAT! ME ME ME!”

There certainly was a lot of blue skin in that movie. And there were flying raptors. With so many reviews out there and the fact that it’s already come and gone from the public eye, there’s not much else to say. Was it worth seeing? Definitely. Were the effects really that great? Heck yes, they were amazing, the best I’ve ever seen. Was the story epic? Eh, no. It was predictable. Were the female Na’vi sexy? Disturbingly so!

A good time was had by all. The spirit of adventure that night was not only followed; it was captured, skinned, and is now a decorative throw-rug in the bathroom. After five years, I’m still totally gay for my wife. Marriage, dear Internets, is a helluva drug.

This happens more often than you’d think. The trick is to stop the training before getting into hand-to-fin combat and edged weapons.