The wife and I celebrated our fifth anniversary by going out to dinner with friends, then going to see Avatar in 3D. Between those events, though, we had some time to kill. Positioned geographically between the Olive Garden and the movie theater megaplex, there was a place that the wife has been wanting to check out for the last few weeks: The Burlington Coat Factory. I thought we might get to see the factory floor and, hope beyond hope, a few coat-making robots, but, alas, it was a department store. To waste some time we tried on coats, many of which made me look like I was attempting to wear an already-inflated life raft. The wife ended up buying a purse, because she absolutely gay for purses like that.
And then she found the hat section. Disappointingly for me, there were only women’s hats. She tried on a few and asked me to take a few pictures with her camera phone. So I did.
Then she informed me that it was my turn. I told her to forget about it, that I wasn’t going to embarrass myself by trying on what were clearly women’s hats, and that IF I tried on ONE hat for her pleasure (sicko) and she took a picture? Well, that the picture would never ever make it online, no way, no how, not in a million years. I shall NOT be made a fool in front of the Internets!
That was, of course, before I saw how the picture came out. I don’t usually like how I look in photographs, but this one? Weapons-Grade Hawtness. Seriously. Yellow is the new R-Pattz.
After that fun, we went over to the cinemas and saw Avatar in 3D. After all the hoopla and what with the phrase “game-changer” being thrown around so much, I was disappointed that it didn’t completely change my life, make my hair grow in thicker, and give me clear, beautiful skin. It was pretty damn good though and I think the wife may have summed it up best when she turned to me as we walked out of the theater and said, “I want to be a blue cougar-person! ME! I WANT THAT! ME ME ME!”
There certainly was a lot of blue skin in that movie. And there were flying raptors. With so many reviews out there and the fact that it’s already come and gone from the public eye, there’s not much else to say. Was it worth seeing? Definitely. Were the effects really that great? Heck yes, they were amazing, the best I’ve ever seen. Was the story epic? Eh, no. It was predictable. Were the female Na’vi sexy? Disturbingly so!
A good time was had by all. The spirit of adventure that night was not only followed; it was captured, skinned, and is now a decorative throw-rug in the bathroom. After five years, I’m still totally gay for my wife. Marriage, dear Internets, is a helluva drug.
